Two Week Check-In

HW: 254 SW: 243 CW: 225

So I hit a big of a stall. Tomorrow will be the fifth day if I am still stuck at 225. A lot has played into the past two weeks, though. I started back at work, which was tough at first, but I survived. Each day I felt as though I was gaining stamina.

Problem came with the protein shakes. Everyone is different. Everyone will have some things that are harder for them than others. Some people breeze right through the diet. Some people struggle significantly. My main issue was that, being a picky eater, the only flavor of protein shake that I like is chocolate. Now I'm not sure if it was the powder, the milk, or a combination thereof, but my chocolate shakes were making me very ill. I tried to buy different brands and even bought vanilla to mix it up, but nothing was working. I got sick from both ends, and it resulted in a lot of physical exhaustion.

I sought help from my support group message board, I doctor, and friends and family. However, I think everybody thought I was just being picky and having a tough time dealing with the strictness of the diet. It finally got to where I knew I had to do something, though. So I took one day and just stopped drinking the shakes. I still made sure that I was getting lots of protein through other means, but did not drink the protein shakes. That day was yesterday. I felt like a huge illness had just been cared. I still don't know what it was about the shakes that did not sit right with me, but I know that they were making me very sick.

Now that I have figured it out, though, I went to GNC nutrition stores today and bought myself some unflavored protein. I mixed some with a tomato bisque soup and some reduced fat sharp cheddar cheese on top and it was amazing. It is good to know that I have figured out some methods that are working a little better for me. I would encourage anyone having an issue with the diet or anything related to talk to your doctor, but don't let your self give up just because somebody thinks you might be over embellishing. There's no reason you should have tofeel lethargic, exhausted and so sick that you have no energy. You are on a path to getting healthy.

So, I am about 10 days out from my next phase. I'm very excited to get to introduce fish and most other soft foods into my diet. I am definitely seeing a physical difference. My face has lost so much weight, every time I look in the mirror I am almost a little bit startled.

Made it!

Sorry for not posting from the hospital. I was so whooped from all the meds that I didn't want to deal with anything but what was going on in the moment. 

The surgery went well, without any complications! On the downside, I got severe nausea. Since there was no food in my body, I kept dry heaving, which made for an even more painful stomach. Due to the nausea, I was kept an extra day in the hospital for observation.

As the hours passed, though, I began to do better and keep more fluids down. So, finally, they let me go home. My incision points for the laparoscopy were bandaged up nicely. I was told to sip fluids frequently, and get up & walk to promote healing. 

Tomorrow will be exciting as I go from the  liquid diet to the puréed food diet. Soups and cottage cheese and all of the yummiest I haven't had in awhile. Of course, I still have to get down 3 protein shakes per day, but it's worth it.

From this point on, any posts will be updated with HW & CW. In Bariatrics land, these stand for Highest Weight and Current Weight. We use these to celebrate our progress. Currently...

HW = 254.0

CW = 236.7

Will update more soon! If you ever have questions, leave a comment and I'll reply as soon as I'm able.

Tomorrow! Tomorrow! It's only a day away...

Tomorrow is the big day! I'm pretty nervous, but stoked all the same. I know that the first few weeks will be very challenging both physically and emotionally as I am in pain, returning to work, only drinking liquids and eating puréed food - but what's three weeks for a lifetime of health and happiness?

Today I had to have clear liquids only, which seems pretty standard for any major surgery. So I'm indulging in decaf green tea, crystal light, chicken broth and lime jello. So far, it's actually not so bad. It helps to have such a huge motivator to get through it. I'm sure tonight I'll be trying to justify how steak juices are clear liquids, too. lol

I have to be at the hospital at 6:00 am, so I will post updates as I can! Keep me in your prayers and I'll see you from the Losers Bench!

Motivation!

There are so many motivators for the surgery. 

Things I won't miss?

1. Clothing stores that don't have a section for women my size.

2. The sheer terror of swimsuits.

3. Backaches!

4. Seeing how my sisters belt fits my thigh, not my waist.

5. Having to grab my sock to hoist my foot up to tie my shoe.

6. Feeling invisible.

7. Getting fat sweat. Yes, it's as traumatic as it sounds.

8. Not being able to keep up with my kids.

9. Hindrance to intimacy with my husband.

10. Seat-belt extenders.

11. Feeling extra squished at movie theaters or concert halls.

12. Not being able to see my feet.

13. Having no trendy clothes in my shopping section.

14. Exceeding the weight limit for certain activities.

15. Not being able to enroll in the military or police academy.

16. Having to 'shove the chub' in bed to get comfy.

17. Not pursuing acting or theater opportunities due to exclusion from good roles.

18. Getting asked how far along I am in my pregnancy.

19. Knowing that if zombies invade, I'm toast.

20. Feeling so ugly.

Things I look forward to?

1. Belts!

2. Dresses!

3. My back feeling better.

4. Running my first 5K.

5. Increased energy!

6. Not being limited in my career and hobbies due to my body shape.

7. Not being depressed.

8. Getting to shop for cute clothes!

9. Knowing I've added years onto my life.

10. Playing football with my son.

11. Not being afraid of swimsuits.

12. Having my husband teach me to scuba dive.

13. Being a healthy example for my children!

14. Confidence.

15. Being able to walk without so much pain.

16. Being an example to others suffering from the obesity disease and considering surgery.

17. No longer being the fat sibling.

18. Running with my youngest child.

19. Having boots fit over my calves again.

20. Feeling beautiful for my husband and self.

I Dumped Him...

Today, I broke it off with the one who's been my crutch, my addiction, for so many years. I said goodbye to Diet Coke. After having not had one for well over two weeks now, and knowing that after tomorrow I can't have one for quite a long time again, I decided to treat myself to a 12 ounce can from the vending machine today. 

Instantly, I felt guilty for having bought it. I didn't even want to open it. But as he always does, Diet Coke enticed me enough that I popped the cap open and took a sip. Something strange happened this time, though. It didn'tfill any craving or satisfy any taste. In fact, it didn't even taste the same as it used to. I tasted some syrup–like tastes that I did not really enjoy. I took one more sip, to make sure that it wasn't just me. But it wasn't. 

Diet Coke and I just were not meant to be together anymore. So I turned the can over, and poured it out. I'm not his girl anymore. It was a telling moment, letting me know that I really am ready for the surgery. But I really am committed to the changes that I need to make.

Day 5 Pre-Op: Carb Withdrawl

So today is day five of my 14-day pre-op diet. I truly thought I'd be dead or completely gone crazy by now having to give up carbs, sugar and soda all at once, but my body has been responding well, so it's helping. 

I am amazed that I don't miss the Diet Coke at all. I figured that'd be the biggest challenge, but cutting back the past month and having my body go into confusion over the denial of multiple things at once seems to have put Diet Coke Withdrawl on the back burner. I'll take it!

The biggest challenge so far has definitely been the carbs. I'm a huge carb fan. I love me some potatoes, bread and butter, rice, noodles. That's the best, but not when prepping for bariatric surgery. Right now, they're as evil as a Snickers Bar. So, how do you cope?

My biggest tools have been to, drink, drink, drink. My protein shakes have a lot of protein and that also helps tide over my hunger, but also by drinking lots, I'm feeling fuller. I bought sugar-free drink packets (my favorite being Crystal Light's Pink Lemonade) to flavor the water so it doesn't get monotonous and it's helped a lot. Finally, stay busy. The worst is when you're bored and you want to go get snacks, but you can't. Keeping busy helps keep the mind off of it.

I have to say, my family has eaten out three times and al three times I avoided the carbs. It's not been easy, but it goes to show how much I want this. Eating out on restrictions will be in another blog entry. For now, wish me some resiliency! 9 days until surgery! I can do this and so can anyone who wants a healthier life.

The Pre-Op Diet

Today I begin my pre-op diet, which is to be primarily carb and sugar free, and substituting a high protein shake for two meals. The hardest part is definitely going to be not grazing. I'm a snacker, so I keep looking around for a snack but I purposefully didn't bring any. I know this will get a lot easier once I get all the sugars out of my system, but it's definitely going to be a challenge.

I talked about my surgery with my dad last night and was pleasantly surprised with how interested and supportive he was about it! He was asking all sorts of questions and kept professing how proud he was of me for making such a bold move to get my health back in control and how happy he was for me, knowing that I was going to feel like a whole new person six months from now. He knew Bariatrics wasn't the easy way out but talked about how much faith he had in me. I definitely didn't expect it, but was happy to have the encouragement the night before my pre-op diet started.

So, today will be interesting. HW is 254.4. CW is 251.8. I'll probably be ravenous by dinner time, but oh will I be happy to see that broccoli!